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By Molly McClary

Haters: Everyone’s got Em

Assume there’s multiple people in your life, friends and family, who are trying to destroy a dream you have. Your parents, your boyfriend, your best friend – those who are closest to you. How do you know who’s on your side?

The questions you have to ask yourself are:

  1. Do you think they’re trying to deliberately destroy your dreams?
  2. Are they trying to protect you because they fear that you may fail?
  3. What is their true intention?

Making the Call

In business and in friendships, be prepared for others to steer you in the wrong direction – intentionally or unintentionally. Sometimes you can find yourself in relationships with people who want to use you. Some people may be jealous of you, so to make themselves feel better, they inadvertently bring you down! Probably not to deliberately destroy you, but to protect themselves out of blind ego. And sometimes, just sometimes…it IS just out of spite. They may push you down to make themselves feel bigger.

So now what?

For starters, do not react to your emotions! It doesn’t serve you. Make the decision to distance yourself so you can digest what has happened and then ask yourself the 3 questions listed above.

Also, recognize that there are different levels of friendships. Best friends are those you can tell everything to and trust them wholeheartedly. You have friends who are good for going clubbing, friends who are good for having brunch, or friends that are good for business advice. Realize the limits of your friendships and don’t hold it against them! Everyone in your life is good for something.

The lesson is to try and see the good in everyone, until you see their true colors. Then, trust your gut and adjust. Just don’t try and change people because that will always end in failure…which will then lead to frustration, which will lead to conflict and friction. And if that is the case, wouldn’t you be better off not having them in your life in the first place? If you feel like the answer is “yes”, then you need to end the “friendship”.

Put It in Perspective

In all relationships, whether friends or frenemies,  gratitude is something we all need to practice. Say thank you to those who helped you – who believed in you when nobody else would.

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